◾️ ◾️ C O - P A R E N T I N G ◾️ ◾️
I actually super love this picture ❤️ From left to right: my husband Joe and our two kids, then my ex-husband Allyn and our two kids. Every Wednesday, Allyn comes over to our house to spend time with Corvin and Zander. I make dinner, Joe and Allyn chat and spend time with the kids, Allyn even helps out with Levi and Zane if Joe and I are busy with other tasks around the house. Allyn comes here when it's just me here, and he comes here if it's just Joe here. & at least once, Allyn's awesome girlfriend Amber has come over too. When it's Allyn's weekend to have our boys, many times Amber has picked up Corvin and Zander when Allyn is at work to bring them to their house. She loves and treats our boys like they're her own while they're there [as do her parents!], and not only do I appreciate the hell out of that, I know Corvin and Zander do too. We all have a great relationship, all for the sake of the kids we love 🥰
Now, being totally honest, things were definitely not always this way. Once upon a time, Allyn and I were nowhere near this point in our co-parenting relationship. We fought some ugly fights, we said things that hurt, and we did things we shouldn't have. But one day, we made an important agreement. We love these boys and they don't deserve to see their mom and dad, two people they love more than anything, fight all the time. Allyn and I both grew up without our dads [thankfully we both have some badass moms though! ❤️], and one thing we always agreed on is that no matter what happens, our boys wouldn't grow up the way we did. Fighting the way we were wasn't much better, so we decided to treat our relationship as if we were speaking to "clients" - sort of going with the "I'm the salesperson, they're the potential buyer" idea 😂 It sounds super odd, but honestly, it was and still is a great idea. It's worked extremely well for our blended family.
We're now to a point of neutrality. We have some disagreements, but we keep it cool and try to talk to one another with logic and reason, rather than have heated arguments that turn into a headache and get us nowhere. We work hard to have a good relationship because we want our boys to grow up with happy memories of their parents. I want them to be able to say, "my parents split up when I was young, but they always got along so it wasn't really a big deal". This is our normal, and I'm happy to say that its a great normal ☺️😍